Category: http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

faith · family · homeschooling · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · learning · motherhood · parenting

a friend

amandasexton12 Comments

Friendship is a very meaningful part of my life.  My introverted side loves the intimate friendship of one or two ladies, sharing our hearts, our lives.  The extroverted Mandy loves the group dynamic. I love to laugh, hang out, and enjoy a robust loud conversation.  I am pretty balanced, enjoying both kinds of interaction.  However, here lately, I have found it difficult to connect in either way.  I suppose it is because we are all so busy that we do not have time to spend on friendship, our families and personal lives are hard to handle as it is.

Friendships take nurturing, and nurturing takes time…time most of us do not have.  Or do we?  I think maybe we choose the wrong things, things that do not fulfill us.  Like how we choose to sit in our living rooms watching TV instead of inviting a friend or two for dinner.  Or how I skip the phone call in favor of one more load of laundry.  Some of the things that take my time are necessary, there is nothing I can do about work schedules and church commitments and school obligations.  But, my discretionary time says a lot about who I am.  I say, “I do not have discretionary time.”  Today I am saying, “Hogwash. I don’t believe that.”

Anthony the Great, the Father of Monks said, “Our life and our death is with our neighbor. If we gain our brother, we have gained God, but if we scandalize our brother, we have sinned against Christ.”

What does that mean for a housewife and mother of five?  Well I have always believed that love begins in the home.  I am not a mother who runs about being idle while neglecting my family.  However, sometimes I think a home school mother can become a bit of an isolationist…bordering on an elitist.  We have this atmosphere in our homes that we do not want interrupted or tampered with.  I will be the first one to admit that opening up our home, our life, is a challenge.  It’s difficult to be accessible.  To be open, hospitable, unafraid, warm, and welcoming is a challenge for those who believe that our homes are a refuge from the evil world.

But where does that leave my neighbor?  Is my neighbor evil?

The challenge of dark days is not to despair that ALL people are bad…to not participate in the culture of mistrust and suspicion.  To be wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove.  To keep loving, to keep being a part.  And I am  a part of this world, whether I like it or not.  And this generation, and this country, and this town, and this neighborhood, and this family.  I am not separate.  

My home is not a sterile laboratory, free of contamination.  It is a scary thing if I am the best person I know.  Or my husband the best husband.  Or my kids the best kids.  That is true loneliness.  And a true hindrance to friendship.  I have to be willing to get dirty, to engage the drama, to be patient with failure, to learn that true tolerance is not about excusing sin, but bearing burdens and being willing to walk with someone, to take a long journey. Breaking the fallow ground of my heart, uprooting the weeds of intolerance is a desire I have right now.

Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of who I am chief.      

If I repent to the degree in which I truly believe that, if I authentically live that, I think I would have the relationships I need and desire.  True friendship is always a sharing of equals…I am the same…I am the chief.

It feels very good to the heart to love other people.  I have felt God’s love for other people, and it is bliss.  I wish I would remember that when I am angry, or hurt, or snubbed, or misunderstood, or ignored.  I wish I would remember that when I see someone laying by the side of the road naked and sick, their sin exposed, ugly, and repulsive.  I wish I was more like Mother Teresa,

Every person is Christ for me,
and since there is only one Jesus,
that person is the one person in
the whole world at the moment.

One person in the whole world.  Do others feel that way when I am with them?  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Loving my neighbor can be a sterile act disguised by mannerly exchanges.  There is nothing much worse than being treated kindly, but held at arms length.  I have been done this way.  I have done this myself.  I have been extremely friendly to you with no intention of being your friend.  And my heart breaks at admitting that.  I want my manners and friendliness to be genuine and truthful, no guile.  I want to be trusted and relied on.  I want to be a friend.

Like my Mama used to tell me, “If you want friends, go be a good friend.”

Just something I am pondering, thinking about as I begin a new year…a new opportunity to be a good friend and neighbor.

faith · family · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · Orthodoxy

Dying Young

amandasexton8 Comments

As we sat around the table drinking our coffee and visiting in our pajamas, my mom got a call from her cousin. Aunt Carol passed away, a heart attack, the day after Thanksgiving, in the early morning. My grandmother who was sitting at the table with us began to cry, to sob. It was a deep cry, the kind that comes when you love someone very much, the kind that speaks what words cannot. Aunt Carol was my grandmother’s best friend, her lifelong companion, they are sisters.

 I do not have a sister, two younger brothers. However, I am raising daughters, and I have witnessed the special bond that sisters have. It has been wonderful to live through my girls, to experience sisterhood. My grandmother commented at the funeral that I had no sister, expressing her belief that I do not fully understand her loss. She is right, I don’t. I am envious of those who have a sister, or sisters, to share their life with, I can see that it is a special thing.

 When those we love begin to die it is hard. I was born into a young family. I was the first grandchild on my mom’s side of the family. My grandparents married young, had their children when they were young. My mom and dad followed suit, and had children when they were young. My mom pointed out that I have not experienced many deaths yet. Yet. I am 35, I am young I think. However, I am getting older, and so are those that are very close.  It’s hard.

Aunt Carol seemed young to me.  She was in her early seventies, as many people pointed out as if this was a sufficient time to be on this earth, yet I felt she was young.  I will miss her.  It’s been hard to let her go.  I am finding that it is difficult to let life go.  The pace at which a life is lived seems fast to me, our lives are fleeting.

This Thanksgiving holiday made me really take a look at  my time, how I spend it, how I waste it, how I want to live it.  I want to live thankful everyday, no matter the circumstance.  Life is very precious.  I want to slow down on the inside, even if my outward life is going too fast.  Is that possible?  To slow down?  To be still inside so that I can be aware, not just passing the moments in ticktock fashion.

To waste time is sad to me, but that too must be accepted.  The mundane is part of the experience. It is hard to accept that when I realize just how short a life really is. When you think about it, everyone dies young.

Thy Kingdom come… Oh Lord, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.
 

family · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · motherhood · parenting

Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mother

amandasexton2 Comments

This video is beautiful.  No frills, just ordinary moms.  I loved it…hope you do too.

//player.vimeo.com/video/76834417
3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.

family · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · marriage · parenting

Where’s Daddy?

amandasexton2 Comments

Searching for Daddy on a Mommy blog is a little like searching for Waldo.  He’s in there somewhere, it just takes a keen eye and some time to find him.  I have been reading mommy blogs for years, and I can say that daddy is rarely featured.  A few DH’s here and there, sometimes you see him in pictures, or he gets thrown into a funny story.  Occasionally we wives tell horror stories that include our husbands and redemption…survival stories. But for the most part the Daddy remains in the background, we never really get to know him.

This is unfortunate really.  My husband is a behind the scenes kind of guy, and is very comfortable being the strong silent type that gives lots of support.  All the pictures and posts and fun and stuff…all that fills this blog…he works hard for it just like I do… it’s hard work building a life.  So, I decided I would write a post to introduce you to my husband – the man behind the scenes.  The man who eats at my table, sleeps next to me, aggravates the daylights out of me sometimes, talks to me and listens to me, prays with me and for me, and works hard to provide for me and the kids.  He is our daddy, and a very good daddy.

Below are a few things I think make my husband and our daddy special.  I hope you enjoy getting to know us better.  Maybe you too will post a Where’s Daddy to introduce your – man behind the scenes.

 Introducing our Daddy.

  • His name is Slade.  I love that name, so manly and handsome…like a cowboy.
  • He is a Mr. Steady.
  • He loves to plan our vacations and insists we take them.
  • He likes to explore and try new things.
  • He wears glasses, the frameless kind.
  • He is the baby of his family.
  • He has traveled all over the world. 
  • He is an information junkie – he knows a lot about a lot of different subjects.
  • He has a mild case of OCD. (At least that’s my diagnoses.  He disagrees.)
  • He does not like tomatoes. 
  • He loves Dr. Pepper.
  • He has a photographic memory.
  • He works in finance.
  • He plays the guitar.
  • He sings beautifully.
  • He loves to aggravate me and the girls.
  • He is moody sometimes.
  • His favorite meal is red beans, cornbread, sliced onions, fried potatoes, and sweet iced tea.  
  • He is a great shopper and gift giver.
  • He gets angry and says things he does not mean sometimes.
  • He loves my mother…he really does.
  • He is spiritual.
  • He is funny and giggles when he laughs.
  • He pays close attention to his children and knows them very well.
  • He is always pushing forward and looking ahead.
  • He can be very hard on people.
  • He can be very generous with people.
  • He is not easily surprised or shocked.
  • He secretly wants to mow lawns for a living. (Not a secret anymore.)
  • He likes to work in the yard.

Slade is a wonderful person, husband, and daddy.  He is normal, not a saint or anything, just Slade, just ours.  Slade and I married when I was eighteen years old. Technically we have been together since I was sixteen.  He has been there to watch me grow up.  We have sort of grown up together.  I like it that way.

 He has mentioned before that I do not have a picture of him anywhere on this blog.  I do not think he cares that much to be seen, he just likes to give me a hard time, to pester me.  So here it is, a new picture and an introduction, lest anyone assume that I am a loner.  Hehe.

faith · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · Orthodoxy

It matters to one.

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“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me. As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea. When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die. I said to him that I thought he was foolish. There were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference. He smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, “It makes a difference for this one.” I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.” 

Let us abandon our normal and spend some time throwing starfish.  Please prayerfully consider helping the victims and survivors of Typhoon Haiyan.  The International Orthodox Christian Charities (IOCC) has a Philippines Typhoon Disaster Fund.  We can also make much needed emergency hygiene kits. It matters to one.  

books · faith · fall · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · seasons

The Dying Season

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“The Garden of Earthly Delights” (the “Millennium”)  Hieronymus Bosch

About ten years ago I discovered and fell in love with the literature of Flannery O’Connor. Her form of horror let me experience the cathartic nature of the grotesque (and literature’s role in purging), and how grappling with evil is an intricate part of the journey of faith. Often times I believe horror to be deeply and honestly religious. Confronting my own evil is what it is all about, and this is horrifying. Literature by O’Connor, Twain, Poe, King, and the like make good people nervous.  It’s hard to accept that ordinary people do evil things, I do evil things. That is what should scare me the most….not the Other, the delusion that evil exists in the Other and not in me. Every year about this time I revisit Flannery…I love her writing.  

 Autumn is a time of year when the themes of death surround. Grey rainy skies, cold dark nights, bare branches on trees, leaves falling purple, yellow, orange, and red, and gusts of chilly wind.  It’s beautiful…this dying season.  It is the perfect time of year to be frightened, a little unnerved.  And yet there is a peaceful quality to autumn that reassures me that death has no sting…Pascha, death has passed us over. 

Halloween brings out all of my ghosts..the things that haunt me.  Fear is a wonderful gift, a purging gift.  I would not want to live in this fallen world without fear.  A fallen man without fear is a monster.

For a good autumn read try:
A Good Man is Hard to Find
&
Wise Blood 

faith · fall · family · food · homeschooling · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · learning · marriage · motherhood · parenting · projects · seasons

How to Get Your Life Together In a Day

amandasexton2 Comments

Sometimes I make things so complicated, and truly that is unnecessary.  I realize there are circumstances that require extreme measures, but my life is not one of them.  Why do I get so stressed and anxious…wound up like an eight day clock?  I suspect it is because I am tired, just plain tired.  Being tired is not a sign that my life is falling apart.  Maybe it is a sign that my life is good, that I have a full and wonderful life…so much to be thankful for.

However, when things start piling up, pressing in, and coming undone I know it is time to do something different, settle in and refocus…just tweak things a bit.  There is no need for me to take a magic eraser to my whole life or to go through everything with a fine toothed comb.  Just a gentle redirection is all that is needed.  Gentle, but thorough.  You see, the bones are good, the underneath is still in tact, the anchor is what holds this ship in times of crazy schedules and busy days.  In times past I would begin a complete overhaul when I felt this way, but I have learned that extreme makeovers are most often the acting out of obsessions.  You know…that running dialogue in your head that makes you feel thin and shaky, nervous and irritable.  We moms have to learn to be gentle, even with ourselves.  

A very dear friend asked me the other day if I believed that sometimes there are cases where a person who was once whole could now be broken, with no hope of being whole again.  I listened to the question and took my friend seriously. I told this friend that, yes, I think it is possible, and that she did not have to be whole.  As I have thought about our conversation I have come to the conclusion that we are all broken in some way, and that it is most likely that we always will be.  Being whole is not about being completely put together…there is a reason that all the King’s horses and all the King’s men could not put Humpty together again.  Life comes down on us, it presses us, it breaks us, and we fall apart.  Once we have been broken there is no way to be whole again…not the kind of whole that we desire.  Being whole often times means we do not want to suffer this life and its trials, we long for naivety and simplicity.  But, those who get out in the world and bare burdens, get hands dirty, work hard, walk with damaged people, befriend the unfriendly, and try to be a part of the world will always be broken..it is inevitable.  The only way I ever imagine that I can avoid this is by shutting the world and people out.  In the end, I would rather be broken.

And this can apply to practical areas of my life as well.  If I desire to be out in the world living and learning with my kids, if I value relationship over everything else, if I put people on the top of my priority list, well then other things suffer…my house, my laundry, my body, my put togetherness.  I always feel that my life is a little undone, a little unkept.  But, in a way this is intentional.  I have chosen other things, to me they are more important things.  When criticisms come, and they will, I must be prepared to OWN my own life and choices.  I must be rooted and grounded in my heart.  I must also be willing to be honest, truthful with myself most of all.  This is the way that I face my life head on and how I deal with brokenness.

Today, as I was dealing with all of the emotions and stress that obsessions cause I waited for the panic to pass.  I got still and a wonderful thought came to me.  It does not take much to Get Your Life Together, Mandy.  In fact I am confident that it only takes one day of gentle internal work to feel better. This is because I am not expecting too much from myself or anyone around me…we are all broken. It is easy to be gentle when I recognize this.  Here are a few things I am doing today to regain a sense of confidence and beauty…how I am getting it together.

I Am…

  • Recognizing the dialogue in my head.  I am not trying to change it, just being aware of the Editor in Chief, the voice that keeps bossing me around, criticizing me.
  • Writing this post to share my thoughts, getting them out in the open.
  • Talking to my mom on the phone and enjoying our friendship.
  • Putting on a fresh face and a nice outfit.
  • Planning a trip to the pumpkin patch near our house.
  • Lighting candles.
  • Letting my kids be tired as well, we have been very busy.  No drill sergeant barking or correction.  
  • Taking a survey of my pantry and planning the meals I want to cook this week.
  • Doing a few loads of laundry.
  • Taking care of a speeding ticket that I got a few months back.  I made it through my probation period, and a big stress is off. 
  • Opening windows and doors to let the cool fresh breeze in.
  • Drinking Ceylon Tea..a new favorite and a wonderful gift from my husband.
  • Being quiet and just doing the next thing…gently walking through this house…room by room… accepting and being very thankful.
  • Praying the prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.” Over, and over again.
  • Accepting the financial stresses of a large family lifestyle and owning my spending choices.
  • Letting my kids be who they are…not requiring that they be caught up, on target, or ahead. 
  • Washing dishes in warm soapy water.
  • Listening to sounds…a lawn mower, Mockingbirds, eggs boiling on the stove.  Just listen.
  • Smelling the things cooking, the fresh autumn air, Samuel’s little head, Elinor’s sweaty puppy dog yumminess, out of the dryer laundry.
  • Waiting for my husband to come home so I can give him a hug.

This is what my day is shaping up to be…a wonderful day, a blessed day, another day to be a mom, wife, daughter, friend. 

   

cleaning · cooking · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

Housewife Challenge

amandasexton1 Comment
My friend Lori and I were driving home together last night from a 4-H food scavenger hunt at Central Market, and we got to talking about being in a house keeping rut.  We had just stuffed ourselves with Sushi and were feeling pretty good, but this house thing was bothering both of us.  She said her house was out of control, and I mentioned that I needed to get my house around for company this weekend.  We left off the conversation with a half- hearted promise to do better and get things whipped into shape.  Well, I got up this morning moving slower than normal and just feeling blah.  So, I came up with this challenge.  It is not intended to be a full house cleaning challenge…just a jump start to get the engine running.  It made me laugh, and I texted my friend to see if she was down.  Because of her schedule, we are going to do this tomorrow.  That got me to thinking.  Maybe the ladies who read my blog would like to get in on the fun!  So, if this is something that you think is doable, send it to a friend, or maybe a few friends, and have fun together getting ready for the weekend. Feel free to customize your own challenge, make it your own.
It’s on tomorrow…you and me Lori!
  

I challenge you to a Housewife challenge, a silly insane game that has no winner:

General Rules:
Text to begin each challenge.
Text after you finish each challenge.
No cheating…(like getting the kids to help, or stuffing stuff under beds, couches, or in ovens.)

 Level 1: An entire home rescue pick up.
 Here are the rules:

  • You can only spend 10 minutes each of 3 rooms. 
  • Send a picture to your opponent of the “before” of each room before the timer begins. 
  • When the timer goes off send an “after” shot of the same room. 
  • Start the music and turn it up loud. 
  • When the timer goes off clean like mad.

When we are done with this phase of the game we level up.

Next Level: Kitchen in 30 minutes.
  • Dishwasher and sink must be unloaded.
  • Dirty dishes must be dealt with.
  • Counters must be wiped down.
  •  Floor must be swept.
  • Trash must be taken out.
  • Sink must be shined.
  • This challenge must be done with red lipstick on. (or any bright color you can find.)
 Next level: Bathroom in 20 minutes.
  • The toilet, shower, tub, and vanities (including the mirror) must be cleaned. 
  • You must sweep and spot mop the floor.
  • Trash must be emptied. 
  • This challenge must be done in silence. (That includes no moaning and groaning in disgust.) 

Next level: Car in 15 minutes.

  •  Everything from the car must be put away or thrown away. 
  • The front dashboard must be wiped down. 
  • This challenge must be done barefoot. 

Next Level: Dusting in 10 minutes. 

  • Living room must be dusted entirely. 
  • Master bedroom must be dusted entirely. 
  • This challenge must be done with sunglasses on. 

 Next Level: Floors in 20 minutes. 

  • All floors that can be vacuumed must be vacuumed. 
  • This challenge must be done in socks. 

Next Level: Dinner in 15 minutes. 

  • You must start dinner and have all components going. 
  • This challenge must be done in high heels. 

After the Housewife Challenge is complete…meet me at Mickey D’s with a hat on your head for a big Dr. Pepper. Loser pays, I know there is no loser, but it sounded good!  Drinks are on me!

faith · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

A Safe Haven

amandasexton8 Comments

Not too long ago I was let in on a little secret. My husband told me he reads my blog. This was such a sweet surprise, and his readership means more to me than any other. I love readers, and I love comments. That is the one of the major reasons I began blogging – to meet new people and make new friends. However, this process is slow, and should be. I am not interested in mass communication, I just like the idea of a little corner of the internet being mine – a place where I talk with friends, share ideas, laugh a little, a place to be inspired and challenged.  When my husband told me that he read my blog I was taken aback, I am not used to him being privy to my private world of writing and women stuff.  It really surprised me how it made me feel.

We women keep some things to ourselves, especially the private world of woman conversation.  Our talks with girlfriends…and our mothers…the exact kind of conversations we have here in the mommy blog world; these are hidden away. We women have an amazing private life of the mind and heart also.  Like my journals… no one reads my journal but me!  Thank goodness!  (This blog is a VERY tame version of my paper journal.)  I think when I die, my family will find half written in, doodled up spiral notebooks all over my house.  My journaling is spastic and sporadic.  My notebooks are littered with poems, horrible artistic sketches of random things, scriptures, letters I never intend to send, rantings, quotes, philosophical debates I have with myself, love letters, weird lists of all kinds, baby names, books I want to read,  comments on books I’ve read, to do lists, home school ideas, gift ideas…on and on it goes.  Its fascinating really… to stumble upon a notebook in a drawer that has entries from ten years ago scattered in with a to do list from last year, and a few more random entries that are undated and obviously not chronological.  I have never been a very linear person.

The private lives of women have always been fascinating to me, I think that is why I like reading your blogs!  My daily private life is so varried, I am never really bored.  And it is no different for you.  It’s the little details that make the essence of a woman’s life so interesting, this private world of thoughtfulness.  It’s an intuitive world, full wisdom and attention.  A woman’s world is also full of an energy, and I can feel this energy the moment I step into a woman’s space… whether it be her personal space, her home, her car, and yes, even her blog.  Have you ever wondered what was in another woman’s purse or pantry?  Have you scanned a grocery cart to wonder what she will cook tonight, or if she drinks coffee or not… what does she feed her family?  Have you ever secretly wished you could peruse a friend’s closet or makeup drawer?  What kind of perfume does she wear, what kind of cookware does she use?  What detergent?  What shampoo?  What diapers?  All of this speaks of essence..I really like getting to know women.

If only we trusted each other that much…

In a world that is so desperately broken I have noticed a growing atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust among women.  And let’s face it, women can be very hard on each other, even cruel.  But, I ask… at what cost?  We are losing contact with the private, yet very essential knowing that only women are capable of.  I have been burned by judgmentalism and snobbery just like you, and I hide, just like you.  But, what I find myself doing more than anything is presenting a version of myself that is calculated and sculpted to ensure my safety.  Some of this is necessary, and I understand that.  But, don’t you long to be in a circle of friends, in relationships, that are real…not for the sake of sharing how dirty our houses REALLY are, or how we ALL fight with our husbands, or that we fed our kids beanie weenies three times last week…all that is fine and good.  But, that is not the only kind of knowing that we women are capable of.  We are capable of real communion, and when we fail at this I think the whole world suffers.

And those of us who share our world with one another…well, we take a risk, but I like the risk.  Some days I wonder if I am brave enough to write here in this space…not because you demand it or that I have some mandate from God.  I write here because I want to, that’s a simple enough answer.  But, am I brave enough?  And here is the shocker.  I am not scared to show you how much laundry I have piled up in my laundry room.  I’ll take a picture right now of the inside of my car or my weedy flowerbeds and post it for the world to see.  Guess what, I don’t have one pumpkin in my house yet, and I have not brushed my teeth today…how’s that for honesty?  No the shocker is this, I am afraid to show you how great I am, how wonderful of a friend I am, how warm I can be, and how I shine.  That’s what I am afraid of, and rightly so…we’ve all been burned.

I admire those who take that risk, the risk of being burned and greatly misunderstood.  That to me is what makes a great writer, a great woman, a wonderful friend.  I want to be that kind of woman, that kind of friend.  I dream of a world that is made better, more beautiful, because I am here.  I understand my greatness is not generated by my abilities or accomplishments, but by a daily gift of grace.  My heart is warmed by the beauty and grace I see in others…I am not envious or covetous or jealous…and if I am I repent and try and struggle and pray.  I abhor gossip, and when I repeat it I feel badly because I understand what it means to uncover someone.  I want to be kind, kind enough to attract true friendship, kind enough to allow communion, kind enough to let you shine.

Here in this little corner of the internet, this place where I share a portion of my private world, this place where one heart chimes, well, I like this place.  My husband told me he liked my blog…I asked him why.  Do you know what he said?  He said, “I like seeing what is going on with you.”  Well, that is the same reason I like your blog, even if we have never met.  I like seeing you, in fact I like seeing all people.  Oh, for the eyes to really see.

I was struggling with a title for this post, and just as I was about to save it to draft and try again tomorrow I heard a movie come on in the living room.  I love Netflix!  My husband started the movie Safe Haven, a Nicolas Sparks. (Remember The Notebook?)  As I am watching the beginning of this chick flick I have decided to swipe the title for my post…we are all a little scared, some of us are terrified.  But, if we are brave and truly humble and radically kind…just maybe we are creating a wonderful safe haven for each other.  A wonderful private woman’s world of friendship, communion, and beauty.

   

                 

           

faith · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · motherhood

One Thing Needful…

amandasexton2 Comments
 
‘Kitchen scene with Christ in the house of Martha and Mary’,  Velázquez, 1618
Sometimes I wonder why Jesus didn’t just speak and make the dinner appear.  Is that what Martha is thinking in this painting?  
The look on her face is very scary.  
I wonder…what does the look on my face say about what I am feeling, what I am experiencing as I go about my day.  
Why do I resist?  
Look how thick Martha’s fingers look, how muscular she appears.  Her sleeves are rolled up, and her head is covered for work…not like the flowing feminine coverings of the other women.  Mary in the background looks beautiful.  
Martha appears to be built for hard labor…in fact she looks masculine.  
But it is the look on her face that gives me chills.  
It makes me want to look in the mirror.  
Her face personifies bitterness… and every woman who has let the exhaustion of work and the weight of womanhood chisel her muscles and strengthen her back.  
I suspect that Martha wants desperately to listen to the Master, to be with him, not stuck in the kitchen with smelly fish.  
But, does she?  
Maybe she is so far gone, so burdened, so distracted, so inflamed with self pity that she wants neither…she does not want to serve, and she does not want to worship.  
Her face screams, “My life stinks.”  
 What story is she telling herself over and over in her mind?

I am tired…
I don’t deserve this…
I am ugly like these fish…
I deserve to be in this kitchen…
I should have known He prefers pretty girls…
My mom was right, life is just work and then you die…
Mary is not all that He thinks she is, I know her, we’re sisters remember…
I am not smart enough to talk to Him anyway..
I am so selfish for feeling this way…
This kitchen is the problem…
I need a new kitchen…
Please somebody…
Help me…

She finally drives herself mad…she can no longer contain this obsession.
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?  
Tell her to help me.”

The story continues,
Don’t you care…
Left me…
By myself…
Help me… 

And His reply, so cutting, so raw, so real, so true, 
so not what she wants, but Everything she needs.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed,
 indeed only one.”

What is the one thing needful?  Did Martha stop cooking and join her sister?  
I think not…everyone must eat, 
Food needs cooking… 
Clothes need washing, kids need cuddling, husbands need loving, 
Floors need mopping, bills need paying, gardens need weeding, 
Prayers need saying, 
Friends need calling, plans need keeping, books need reading, enemies need forgiving,
Life needs living.  

And I wonder…
One thing needful…
Indeed only one…