Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mother
This video is beautiful. No frills, just ordinary moms. I loved it…hope you do too.
//player.vimeo.com/video/76834417
3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.
Category: family
Stand Down
Pondering…Sometimes I have to let my kids hurt. Knowing if, when, and how to help is one of the hardest parts about being a mother. Harder still are the times when there is nothing I can do to ease the hurt. I want to rush in, I want to make it better, I want to fix it. But, sometimes I can’t, and sometimes I feel I shouldn’t.
Hearing…Caroline play Adelle songs on the piano. Sophia read aloud above the noise. “I am starting again in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” Bless her heart.
Tasting…Pomegranates.
Seeing…The Oaks light up with a blaze of color. The leaves falling, and watching out the window above my kitchen sink. Adalay with her headphones on listening to her class online. She looks serious.
Touching…My nursing baby boy. Warm sheets from the dryer.
Smelling…Yummy smell of the dishwasher. Caroline’s perfume early in the morning. She’s dressed and ready for her day.
I am having a hard day, and I thought if I stopped to gather my senses it might help.
I feel keyed up, ready for battle, ready to snap, ready to react.
To relax after a state of readiness…stand down, Mandy.
Autumn Fires
Autumn Fires
by Robert Louis Stevenson
In the other gardens
And all up the vale,
From the autumn bonfires
See the smoke trail!
Pleasant summer over
And all the summer flowers,
The red fire blazes,
The grey smoke towers.
Sing a song of seasons!
Something bright in all!
Flowers in the summer,
Fires in the fall!
*We have been working on memorizing this poem, using it for copy work and dictation.
Where’s Daddy?
Searching for Daddy on a Mommy blog is a little like searching for Waldo. He’s in there somewhere, it just takes a keen eye and some time to find him. I have been reading mommy blogs for years, and I can say that daddy is rarely featured. A few DH’s here and there, sometimes you see him in pictures, or he gets thrown into a funny story. Occasionally we wives tell horror stories that include our husbands and redemption…survival stories. But for the most part the Daddy remains in the background, we never really get to know him.
This is unfortunate really. My husband is a behind the scenes kind of guy, and is very comfortable being the strong silent type that gives lots of support. All the pictures and posts and fun and stuff…all that fills this blog…he works hard for it just like I do… it’s hard work building a life. So, I decided I would write a post to introduce you to my husband – the man behind the scenes. The man who eats at my table, sleeps next to me, aggravates the daylights out of me sometimes, talks to me and listens to me, prays with me and for me, and works hard to provide for me and the kids. He is our daddy, and a very good daddy.
Below are a few things I think make my husband and our daddy special. I hope you enjoy getting to know us better. Maybe you too will post a Where’s Daddy to introduce your – man behind the scenes.
Introducing our Daddy.
- His name is Slade. I love that name, so manly and handsome…like a cowboy.
- He is a Mr. Steady.
- He loves to plan our vacations and insists we take them.
- He likes to explore and try new things.
- He wears glasses, the frameless kind.
- He is the baby of his family.
- He has traveled all over the world.
- He is an information junkie – he knows a lot about a lot of different subjects.
- He has a mild case of OCD. (At least that’s my diagnoses. He disagrees.)
- He does not like tomatoes.
- He loves Dr. Pepper.
- He has a photographic memory.
- He works in finance.
- He plays the guitar.
- He sings beautifully.
- He loves to aggravate me and the girls.
- He is moody sometimes.
- His favorite meal is red beans, cornbread, sliced onions, fried potatoes, and sweet iced tea.
- He is a great shopper and gift giver.
- He gets angry and says things he does not mean sometimes.
- He loves my mother…he really does.
- He is spiritual.
- He is funny and giggles when he laughs.
- He pays close attention to his children and knows them very well.
- He is always pushing forward and looking ahead.
- He can be very hard on people.
- He can be very generous with people.
- He is not easily surprised or shocked.
- He secretly wants to mow lawns for a living. (Not a secret anymore.)
- He likes to work in the yard.
Slade is a wonderful person, husband, and daddy. He is normal, not a saint or anything, just Slade, just ours. Slade and I married when I was eighteen years old. Technically we have been together since I was sixteen. He has been there to watch me grow up. We have sort of grown up together. I like it that way.
He has mentioned before that I do not have a picture of him anywhere on this blog. I do not think he cares that much to be seen, he just likes to give me a hard time, to pester me. So here it is, a new picture and an introduction, lest anyone assume that I am a loner. Hehe.
Home Remedies
When I was growing up on the farm we did not have insurance, and the doctor did not come cheap. My mom learned how to pray and trust home remedies for the minor ailments that bother, and I have taken up the tradition. Although I have to say that sometimes when I have a stomach virus the last thing I want to take is Apple Cider Vinegar…yuck! But, it does work…it’s just torture getting it down. I once heard a lady say that when she has a stomach virus she sprints until she breaks a sweat and the stomach bug vanishes. Can you imagine? I will take the vinegar, please.
As colder temperatures sneak up on us and we begin running our electric heat, the opportunity for pesky winter illnesses increases. Today Elinor began a runny nose, and Samuel is congested as well. It’s time to evaluate and begin restocking the medicine cabinet with all my home remedies. I had the thought run through my head yesterday, “What if we all get sick at once?” With schoolwork, the holidays, Slade’s CPA tests, nursing, extra-curricular activities, and all the in betweens that thought made me sort of loose my breath. Time to be proactive.
I hate to be sick, but even more I hate for my kiddos to be sick. Last year during the holidays we had a round of the flu. Sophia is still upset with me over that one. How was I to know she could swallow a pill? Most six year old kids can’t. After several Tamiflu meltdowns I finally tasted the stuff, Oh My, it made the hairs on my neck stand up. She has since made me swear that if she ever has to take it again, I must get the pill. That medicine is legit…all medicine should taste like Tamiflu. If so kids would think twice about getting sick. 😉
As I prepare for a season of health I am concentrating on prevention… the foundation first.
- Lots of water.
- Nutritious food. Lots of garlic and meat broths. Foods high in vitamin C. Speaking of vitamin C, we tried an Ugli fruit this week. The kids got a kick out of the name.
- Plenty of rest.
- Quiet and prayerful atmosphere in the home.
- Vitamins: D, C, and Zinc as supplements. We like Emergen-C, it’s yummy.
- Acidophilus: since a prominent part of the immune system is in the digestive tract this is good for overall health.
- Floradix: an iron supplement with herbs and good B vitamins.
- Magnesium Oil Spray: helps reduce stress which weakens the immune system. Here is a great resource for making your own.
- Cutting back on mucus producing dairy products.
- When the sun is out, so are we.
If this defense lets an illness slip by I have an arsenal of home remedies to try:
- Apple Cider Vinegar– good for soar throats and stomach bugs. In cases of a stomach bug you should start taking the vinegar at the first sign of nausea/ virus and if you throw it up take some more until the vomiting stops. It causes the body to turn alkali, a condition that is not conducive for the virus to live in. It quits multiplying so even if you don’t completely avoid the illness, it will be less severe. My kiddos and I have grown accustomed to taking vinegar straight up, like a shot. I used to mix it with honey, but not anymore.
- Neti pot– sinus congestion, dry nasal passages from indoor heat, allergies.
- Throat Rag- Fold soft rag that is long enough to wrap around your neck into several layers. Drizzle oil over rag, judging how long of a strip will reach from ear to ear , and smear it all around,. It will probably take at least a couple of TBS. Next smear on a good amount of Vicks Salve. Then drizzle about a TBS of turpentine down the center of the rag. Coat your neck with Vicks Salve making sure to get some on the sides and then pin the rag , messy side toward skin, around your neck. The oil and Vicks help coat the skin to protect it from the Turpentine because it could irritate or “burn” the skin. This is good for severe soar throat or a cough. (Thanks mom for the detailed instructions, and corrections.)
- Whiskey tonic- heat up a little whiskey with honey and fresh lemon juice. Good for a cough before bedtime.
- Vinegar and honey tonic- heat up a bit of vinegar and honey and sip to ease a cough or soar throat.
- Tea Tree Oil- do you ever get dry skin soars on your scalp during the winter? Rub a little tea tree oil on them.
- Epsom salt- put in a warm bath to sooth aching…another good source for magnesium.
- Blow dryer- set it to low heat and blow into an ear ache.
- Similason Ear Relief– this is great for ear aches. I am not a fan of giving antibiotics for ear infections.
- Cool mist humidifier.
And last, but certainly not least:
Holy Water and prayer. Tonight at evening prayer we gave Elinor and Samuel holy water for it has received grace to heal illnesses.
Our bodies are beautifully and wonderfully made. May we all be good stewards and take good care.
Archangel Michael Week!
I thought it might be nice to share our week with you in advance.
- Above is a little song we are learning…My Father’s Angels.
- We are also going to make flower arrangements on Thursday in small Mason jars with the Asters, or Michaelmas Daises growing in my garden and place them in the icon corner.
- I am shopping today for fresh Blackberries for cobbler for Friday night. Legend has it that on the day that Archangel Michael defeated Lucifer in heaven and kicked him out, Satan fell into a Bramble bush and cursed it.
- We are telling the story of the War in Heaven.
- We are reading Saint George and the Dragon all week.
- We are also working on memorizing Psalm 23 and reading Sometimes I Get Scared.
- Having lots of conversations about fear and courage. What is good fear? What is bad fear? When do we need to be courageous? What happens when we are not courageous?
- Praying the Akathist Hymn to St. Michael the Archangel on Friday.
- Watching How to Train Your Dragon for a movie night on Friday.
- Just for Mom.
How to Get Your Life Together In a Day
Sometimes I make things so complicated, and truly that is unnecessary. I realize there are circumstances that require extreme measures, but my life is not one of them. Why do I get so stressed and anxious…wound up like an eight day clock? I suspect it is because I am tired, just plain tired. Being tired is not a sign that my life is falling apart. Maybe it is a sign that my life is good, that I have a full and wonderful life…so much to be thankful for.
However, when things start piling up, pressing in, and coming undone I know it is time to do something different, settle in and refocus…just tweak things a bit. There is no need for me to take a magic eraser to my whole life or to go through everything with a fine toothed comb. Just a gentle redirection is all that is needed. Gentle, but thorough. You see, the bones are good, the underneath is still in tact, the anchor is what holds this ship in times of crazy schedules and busy days. In times past I would begin a complete overhaul when I felt this way, but I have learned that extreme makeovers are most often the acting out of obsessions. You know…that running dialogue in your head that makes you feel thin and shaky, nervous and irritable. We moms have to learn to be gentle, even with ourselves.
A very dear friend asked me the other day if I believed that sometimes there are cases where a person who was once whole could now be broken, with no hope of being whole again. I listened to the question and took my friend seriously. I told this friend that, yes, I think it is possible, and that she did not have to be whole. As I have thought about our conversation I have come to the conclusion that we are all broken in some way, and that it is most likely that we always will be. Being whole is not about being completely put together…there is a reason that all the King’s horses and all the King’s men could not put Humpty together again. Life comes down on us, it presses us, it breaks us, and we fall apart. Once we have been broken there is no way to be whole again…not the kind of whole that we desire. Being whole often times means we do not want to suffer this life and its trials, we long for naivety and simplicity. But, those who get out in the world and bare burdens, get hands dirty, work hard, walk with damaged people, befriend the unfriendly, and try to be a part of the world will always be broken..it is inevitable. The only way I ever imagine that I can avoid this is by shutting the world and people out. In the end, I would rather be broken.
And this can apply to practical areas of my life as well. If I desire to be out in the world living and learning with my kids, if I value relationship over everything else, if I put people on the top of my priority list, well then other things suffer…my house, my laundry, my body, my put togetherness. I always feel that my life is a little undone, a little unkept. But, in a way this is intentional. I have chosen other things, to me they are more important things. When criticisms come, and they will, I must be prepared to OWN my own life and choices. I must be rooted and grounded in my heart. I must also be willing to be honest, truthful with myself most of all. This is the way that I face my life head on and how I deal with brokenness.
Today, as I was dealing with all of the emotions and stress that obsessions cause I waited for the panic to pass. I got still and a wonderful thought came to me. It does not take much to Get Your Life Together, Mandy. In fact I am confident that it only takes one day of gentle internal work to feel better. This is because I am not expecting too much from myself or anyone around me…we are all broken. It is easy to be gentle when I recognize this. Here are a few things I am doing today to regain a sense of confidence and beauty…how I am getting it together.
I Am…
- Recognizing the dialogue in my head. I am not trying to change it, just being aware of the Editor in Chief, the voice that keeps bossing me around, criticizing me.
- Writing this post to share my thoughts, getting them out in the open.
- Talking to my mom on the phone and enjoying our friendship.
- Putting on a fresh face and a nice outfit.
- Planning a trip to the pumpkin patch near our house.
- Lighting candles.
- Letting my kids be tired as well, we have been very busy. No drill sergeant barking or correction.
- Taking a survey of my pantry and planning the meals I want to cook this week.
- Doing a few loads of laundry.
- Taking care of a speeding ticket that I got a few months back. I made it through my probation period, and a big stress is off.
- Opening windows and doors to let the cool fresh breeze in.
- Drinking Ceylon Tea..a new favorite and a wonderful gift from my husband.
- Being quiet and just doing the next thing…gently walking through this house…room by room… accepting and being very thankful.
- Praying the prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.” Over, and over again.
- Accepting the financial stresses of a large family lifestyle and owning my spending choices.
- Letting my kids be who they are…not requiring that they be caught up, on target, or ahead.
- Washing dishes in warm soapy water.
- Listening to sounds…a lawn mower, Mockingbirds, eggs boiling on the stove. Just listen.
- Smelling the things cooking, the fresh autumn air, Samuel’s little head, Elinor’s sweaty puppy dog yumminess, out of the dryer laundry.
- Waiting for my husband to come home so I can give him a hug.
This is what my day is shaping up to be…a wonderful day, a blessed day, another day to be a mom, wife, daughter, friend.
A Room of Their Own
When I read Virginia Woolf’s A Room Of One’s Own a few years ago I was struck by the notion that women are in desperate need of personal space, literal space. The reality of having a special space that is all my own is something that I cannot manage at this time in my life. I cannot even go to the bathroom by myself. But, I remember a time when I did not share everything, I had a little place to be by myself and dream, sing, pray, read, and think. I had a room of my own when I was young.
It is this memory, and the warmth it creates that inspired me to create a special place that my daughters call their own, a room of their own…even if they do share the space. For my oldest two daughters, sharing is all they know, they have always shared a room. But, it is ok…it is their own room together. I love listening to them giggle at night, sharing secrets, whispering things to each other that they will never tell me. Sisterhood is nourished in shared space, their special place.
Being the oldest in a large family has its perks, but the perks come at a price. The older children bear a kind of burden that the littles will never know. When the littles are big will they remember all the little sacrifices their big sisters made for them, all the times that they were shown kindness or allowed to be a part…the gentleness, the patience, the caring? Just last night I overheard my oldest two making Christmas gift lists for their little sisters, and I think a major homemade doll furniture project is underway. This makes me hope…maybe this lifestyle creates and nourishes true affection. I try to keep that in mind when I see attitudes, bickering, and drama.
As Queen Mother, I like to inspire and facilitate affection…to encourage it. When my older girls give, I like to give back. In this way I hope they feel the rewards of their kindness, hard work, and selflessness. It keeps things reciprocal, and shouldn’t all relationships be reciprocal? I do not do these things to be fair…fairness is overrated and impossible in large families. I do these things because I love my girls, and they love me…we are family.
I like to give back to my older girls by treating them to special things like going to a favorite restaurant, spending time alone with me, buying a new outfit, picking up a specific treat when I go grocery shopping, giving them time alone when they request it, and making sure that I help them pursue their own interests and passions. And that leads me to what I want to share with you in this post.
A new room of their own!
For a couple of weeks we have been working on this project together… refreshing paint, buying new bedding, ordering new accessories, and having a ball. I taught the girls how to paint a room, make and hang curtains (no sew), and we even made a fun little wall accessory out of twinkle lights. They have been wanting a more “teenagery” (as they call it) room. So here it is! I hope you enjoy the before and after pictures. As you will see, this room was in desperate need of a make-over.
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| Before & After |
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We ordered a few posters of their favorite musicals and movies and framed them; The Sound of Music, Gone With the Wind, The Princess Bride, and Meet Me in St. Louis.
An Audrey Hepburn of her in her famous gown from Sabrina has still not arrived.
The girls can’t wait to see it.
The girls love reading in bed…
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| On Caroline’s Night Stand Robinson Crusoe The Story of the World Volume 2 Hans Christian Anderson Lord of the Rings Alice in Wonderland Out of the Silent Planet |
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| On Addy’s Night Stand The Trial and Death of Socrates The House of Hades Eusibius The History of the Church Pride and Prejudice The Norton Anthology of World Literature Beautiful Stories from Shakespeare |
- You can visit my Pinterest Board and see all the links and inspirations. I warn you though, I am not a good Pinterest person. I cannot seem to get into it that much. I did find it useful when trying to put together this room. Maybe some afternoon I will sit down with a cup of tea and discover what everyone else seems to love, but for now I remain a novice.
- The no sew curtain idea came from here. They are tablecloths. Extra long curtains were not in our budget, so I improvised.
- We spray painted the bookshelf and lined the back with contact paper from the Dollar Store.
- We also spray painted the lamp shades. I have watermelon pink spray paint dust all over my garage.
- We have a navy and white chevron rug on our wishlist…maybe for Christmas!
For those of you with older kids who do a lot, how do you keep the balance? Do you do special things for those who help you carry a heavy load?
October Rain
Just two little girls having too much fun! October rain is wonderful.
Orthodox Mission {A family, a community}
I had never really given much thought to Orthodoxy in America until I began attending St. Aresenius Hermitage. It was then that I began to understand the sacrifices and commitment it takes to spread the Gospel, to break ground in a foreign land, to start from nothing.
That is just what is happening at St. Arsenius Hermitage. It is nestled in the hills and pasture of North Texas, a few miles outside of a small community that does not have an Orthodox Church. In fact, the folks of this community and surrounding areas have never even heard of Orthodoxy, much less encountered a monk in robs shopping at their local home improvement store. The newspaper did a bio, and Father Gregory’s picture was cropped among the happenings of small town Texas life. He looked out of place, but his warm smile fit right in.
I wonder sometimes how Orthodoxy will ever permeate this Texas culture, sometimes they seem worlds apart; Orthodoxy and Texas. And then I look at my family, and I have hope. Orthodoxy makes all things new, it takes a proud Texan like myself and makes me new…without requiring me to loose my twang. Although, a priest once commented after I had chanted during Holy Week that he had never heard anything like it. I did not know if I should laugh or be offended, I chose to laugh. I am what I am, and if Orthodoxy is truly catholic I know there is a place for me.
Trying to become Orthodox has required that we as a family make new traditions. And that is hard. We are constantly trying to balance culture with church. We are not Greek, and we are not Russian, or Arab, or Romanian. However, Orthodoxy has a way of getting in the cracks, and slowly we are becoming American Orthodox. What will this look like?…who knows, we have a LONG way to go. I know because I watch the work at St. Arsenius, and I can see the longevity of the call. How long will it take for this small community in Texas to embrace the monk in the country? Longer still will be the inclusion, the familiarity, the ease that signifies Orthodox community life. It is a long and hard work. We Texans are willful and self directed, I could think of no harder place to break ground.
The story of St. Arsenius Hermitage is very inspiring. A family of twelve, a husband and wife and ten children have opened their hearts to the call. They labor alongside Father Gregory, and it is back breaking work. When I look at all they have sacrificed to help bring an Orthodox presence to this area I am truly humbled. They have given land, money, and labor. But, it is the sacrifice the family makes that breaks my heart. To begin this work the family has given up time, a resource that can never be renewed. All I can offer is my understanding, support, and heartfelt thanks. We help when we can, and I wish we could do more. It is a hard work.
We (my family) are a mission field…our community is a mission field…Texas is a mission field…America is a mission field. Orthodoxy is young in America. I am ok with that, and I understand that my conversion is also in its infancy. I am starting to see and learning to accept that becoming Orthodox is a long and hard work, but one that is full of life and reward. Lord have mercy.
For a good read on Orthodoxy and the South go here…
Orthodoxy and the Christ-Haunted Culture of the South
A Chime of Hearts 
