Yesterday, I was told a story about two very great kids we know, a young man and woman, who were caught in the library making out. I chuckled at the story…who knows if it is even true. Both, age 16, come form great homes and are homeschooled. Again I just chuckle…not because I am laughing at the indiscretion or making fun in the least, it’s just funny how we homeschool moms think that homeschooling will somehow insulate our teens from the normal processes of growing up. I was kind of laughing at myself, knowing that in some sense the way I have chosen to parent could leave me vulnerable to such gossip. It could happen to any of us.
And what if it does?!
Will the world come to an end?
Will all our efforts have been for nothing?
These fears reflect a very deep rooted heart condition, a condition that is hard to admit and face. To face these fears is not simple, it requires true inquiry and reflection, and a willingness to be undone.
It’s crazy that we even wrestle with these fears…the very fact that I am alive and well and striving to live a life before God is proof that indiscretions do not ruin teenagers…I had plenty, and I survived. I was a good girl, but I made out with my husband before I married him. My teenage girls know this, we have talked about love and sexuality and attraction and marriage…I have shared my heart with them and also my experiences, letting modesty and discretion be my guide. I do not glorify sin…but I do not see sin in everything.
Teens need real.
Teens need mercy.
Teens need relationship.
Teens need lots of conversation.
Teens need fun.
Teens need trust.
Teens need firm convictions.
Teens need unconditional love.
Teens need prayer.
Parenting with fear seems to be the norm these days, and I am guilty at times. This culture has turned structures upside down, and it is scary…very scary. Sometimes I watch my teens and I think; this is all they know, this culture is all they know. Reality is that we are a part of this culture, and we will either cower in fear or face it head on, and the struggle will not leave us unscathed whichever path we choose. There will be indiscretions…every generation has had indiscretions.
Parenting teens brings me to my knees. In prayer I know that I must resist the urge to bolt from my heart and rule with an iron fist of fear. In His hands, and living in His presence will see us through, for Love conquers all. Love is the opposite of fear.